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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

March Marvel Madness: BLADE: TRINITY

Greetings, True Believers! Welcome to March Marvel Madness! Every day this month, I'll be looking back on a theatrically-released movie based on the characters of Marvel Comics. It's all to commemorate the April 4th release of the next Marvel film adventure, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Today, Blade loses his edge in ...

The Daywalker returns yet again, cutting down vampire muthafuckas as usual. That is, until he's framed for killing a human, and now the police and the feds are closing in on his ass. Blade is captured, but he's soon rescued by Abigail (Jessica Biel), the daughter of his old buddy Whistler, and a cured vampire named Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds). The new trio then team up to stop a group of bloodsuckers who have just resurrected the original vampire, Dracula (Dominic Purcell).

Blade: Trinity is one of the very few Marvel movies I had not seen before starting this series. Man, am I glad I skipped out on it when it was first released. This is Wesley Snipes's third go-around as the character of Blade, and he is visibly unenthused. I don't blame him, because, compared to the first two, this movie- bad pun intended- sucks. New Line Cinema decided to give the director reins to series writer, David Goyer, and he clearly had no interest in taking the franchise into any new directions. All Goyer did was retread the groundwork laid by Stephen Norrington and Guillermo del Toro in the other films. Expect he made things louder, flashier, and a whole lot dumber. It's really easy to see how awful a writer David Goyer is when he's left to his own devices. As a result, what was cool and badass in the other Blade movies is now unintentionally hilarious. Blade: Trinity sees the franchise descending into self-parody. What was once such a hip, innovative franchise suddenly found itself left behind by its imitators

You know what would have been a better third Blade? One that would've embraced the old-school horror of the comic that introduced the character, The Tomb of Dracula. I think that would have been the logical next step following the Eastern Europe atmosphere of Blade II. Think about it: Blade's trademark action set pieces mixed in with gothic castles, dungeons, full moons, fog, etc.? How about Rachel Van Helsing instead of a daughter Whistler somehow forgot to mention was a) still alive, and b) a vampire hunter? And how about a more traditional Dracula instead of a meatball? I can dream, can't I?

I'll still watch Blade: Trinity again if it comes on, though. The saving graces are the intentional comic relief provided by Ryan Reynolds and the fact that I can take it now as a self-parody. I'll take that over any of the serious-minded Blade rip-offs any day of the week. That's right, Underworld, I'm looking at you.

Blade: Trinity
2 out of 5 Cap shields

Monday, March 10, 2014

March Marvel Madness: SPIDER-MAN 2

Tobey Maguire returns as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He's also Peter Parker, and he's not having that swell a time. He's behind in school, can't hold down a job, is always late with rent, he's always worrying about his Aunt May, and he can't tell the girl of his dreams, Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst returning), how he feels. As if things can't get any worse, his best friend, Harry (James Franco), has it out for his alter-ego. All of this effects his powers and wears on his soul, and Parker begins to wonder if being Spider-Man is worth it anymore. And on top of that, Peter's idol, Doctor Octavious (Alfred Molina), gets caught in a science experiment gone wrong, and emerges as New York's newest super-villian, Doctor Octopus.

Spider-Man 2 came out in the summer of 2004, and I- like everyone else- went nuts over it. Seeing Doc Ock on the big screen was childhood wish-fulfillment realized, but Molina was also the perfect choice to play him. The returning cast all stepped up their game, the visual effects were astounding, and, man, did that last line have me cheering. Also, for me personally, it was great to see Sam Raimi make a Spider-Man film that looked more like one of his pictures. I was in agreement with the rest of the world that it was better than the first movie.

Ten years later, Spider-Man 2 still has me cheering. Much like the original film, it has remained timeless. It has every bit of the quality and heart, and is every bit a living, breathing comic book as the original. I still think this is one of the greatest Marvel movies, but for a different reason now. Looking at it today, this film really isn't a sequel at all. Whereas X2: X-Men United was a film that improved on its predecessor, Spider-Man 2 feels like the second half of one giant Spider-Man epic. I don't feel the need to rank one over the other. Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 should really be taken in as a whole, and as such, remains one of Marvel's greatest cinematic accomplishments.

Spider-Man 2
5 out of 5 Cap shields

Sunday, March 9, 2014

March Marvel Madness: THE PUNISHER (2004)

Produced by (then) Lions Gate Films, The Punisher (2004) stars Thomas Jane as Frank Castle, an FBI agent who's finished his last assignment and is ready to enjoy retirement with his family. However, the son of mobster Howard Saint (played by John Travolta) was killed during Frank's last job, and Saint orders a hit on him and his family in retaliation. Castle's whole clan is wiped out during a family reunion and he is left for dead. Frank recovers, though, and heads to Tampa to seek revenge on Saint. When he's not making Saint's life miserable, Castle is knocking back shots of Wild Turkey in a run-down apartment building occupied by three other tenants who try to provide moral support for the hard-as-stone, nothing-to-lose vigilante in the making.

Full disclosure: I've never followed an actual Punisher title. That maybe shocking to hear to some of you, given all the macho, muscle-bound action movies (including a straight-to-video Punisher movie starring Dolph Lundgren) that I grew up watching in the 80s. I've seen Frank make many an appearance in many other Marvel books, but I have yet to read any of the numerous series starring Marvel's iconic anti-hero (created by Gerry Conway, John Romita, and Ross Andru). That's going to change, but for right now, I can only judge the film as is.

Honestly, I was conflicted at the start of this retrospective. I liked the movie then, but was always unsure of its approach. On the one hand, first-time director Jonathan Hensleigh uses- I guess what he feels is- a more realistic take on the character. That's right, kids, origin story. We get to see Castle's journey from being an ordinary, law-abiding, family man to becoming an urban vigilante. There's a lot more becoming in this movie than there is punishing. At this point, the origin story has become a formula for every single comic book movie coming out. Not only was it was starting to feel all too familiar, but it also felt unnecessary for the character.

On the other hand, it's a little unfair to dismiss the movie now just because it is an origin story. It is still Hollywood's go-to formula for superhero movies. Get used to it. With that, The Punisher (2004) is an interesting experiment, because it is a more grounded approach. That's more likely the reason why Thomas Jane was chosen to play the title character. He's nothing like the macho standard used to draw Frank in the comics. Jane's an unassuming looking guy. It would make the Frank's arc more convincing. He may not be dishing out loads of punishment until the climax, but it's interesting to actually see the transformation.

The movie itself is an agreeable, if not entirely memorable, crime drama. What makes it stand out are the dirty touches that grace the sunny location (in this case, Tampa, Florida), the three apartment tenants (one of which played by X-Men alum, Rebecca Romijn), an Ennio Morricone-esque score by Carlo Siliotte, and John Travolta making one of his less-embarrassing post-Battlefield Earth appearances on film.

I know this version of The Punisher is not going to be for everyone. It's no secret Hensleigh was inspired by action films of the Seventies, and some might argue he should have gone more Dirty Harry with this movie and less Death Wish. However, you can't hold it against a film if it is trying to do something different and doesn't fall on its ass. We've seen plenty of comic book movies do that, but The Punisher '04 is surprisingly not one of them.

The Punisher (2004)
3 out of 5 Cap shields

Saturday, March 8, 2014

March Marvel Madness: HULK

Eric Bana plays Bruce, a brilliant but emotionally distant scientist who, along with fellow scientist and ex-girlfriend, Betty (Jennifer Connelly), blow up frogs with gamma radiation in an effort to cure... something. I don't know, I forgot. Anyways, Bruce gets caught in a blast of radiation and survives, but now, whenever he gets angry, he transforms into a giant, rampaging, badly computer-generated giant. A grizzly old fart named David Banner (Nick Nolte) appears, stalking Bruce, claiming to be his father. Speaking to his son in riddles, we can guess- really, we can only guess- Banner passed some kind of side effect of self-experimentation on to his boy that was then triggered by Bruce's accident. What? There's also Betty's general dad (Sam Elliot) who wants the Hulk for something (still not sure), and some douchebag (Josh Lucas) that also has an interest in Bruce, but also has an interest in getting into Betty's pants.

I was really let down by Hulk when I saw it in theaters the summer of 2003. I thought it was overly serious and lame. Looking at the film now, however, I can honestly saw- and I hate to quote an overused meme from the internet, but- WTF is this shit?! This is a joke, right? In hindsight, it might as well be. It was 2003, after all. I wouldn't be shocked if Ashton Kutcher jumped out at us coming out of the theater going, "You got Punk'd!"

This is not an adaptation of The Incredible Hulk. This is a trashing, because Universal and director Ang Lee didn't have faith in the comic book. They felt like the movie needed to transcend the source material. Don't let the comic book panel-style split-screens and editing fool you; Hulk is a film ashamed that it's based on a comic book. It's all so, so serious. Performance-wise, you've got mopey (Bana and Connelly) and crazy (Nolte, Elliot, and Lucas) and not much else. Nobody seems to be having any fun in this movie. There's no sense of entertainment value in the story, anyways. Lee is too concerned with trying to elevate the material. The Incredible Hulk is the Jeckyll and Hyde of the post-Atomic Age. He represents something base in us as human beings we all keep buried inside us, be it rage or anything else we don't want anyone to see. Ang Lee and co-writer James Schamus want to blame The Hulk on Daddy. Bullshit.

In addition, Lee succeeds in making the audience feel stupid for liking spectacle by making Industrial Light and Magic give us some of the worst visual effects ever for a tentpole movie. Hulk looks better in the poster than any time he's on screen in the movie! He looks like a 'roid-raging Shreck. Also, why is he almost as big as fucking King Kong halfway through the movie? The laugh-out-loud awfulness of the VFX next to the woe-as-me crap that make up the rest of the film is really jarring. I'm sure ILM were embarrassed by their work on Hulk. They were able to make Yoda fight just the year before! They should be embarrassed.

Not surprising the word "Incredible" was left out of the title of this movie, giving how bad it is, but Ang Lee should have left Hulk out of it, too. There's barely any resemblance to the characters of the comic in this movie. Instead, this picture is Ang Lee's criticism of us as American moviegoers. Congratulations, bub. You made us feel bad for watching a movie based on a comic book. I hope you're happy, you prick. I'm glad Crash won.

Hulk
1 out of 5 Cap Shields

Friday, March 7, 2014

March Marvel Madness: X2: X-MEN UNITED

Picking up after the events of X-Men, X2 begins with a mutant attempting to assassinate the President of the United States, which prompts insane military leader, William Stryker (Brian Cox), to attack the X-Men mansion and kidnap Professor Charles Xavier (once again played by Patrick Stewart). The remaining X-Men, including Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Storm (Halle Berry), Cyclops (James Marsden), and Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), form a reluctant alliance with their sworn enemy, Magneto (Ian McKellen), in an effort to rescue the beloved Professor and save mutant and human kind.

Remember when Bryan Singer said he was going "Wrath of Khan" on the sequel to his 2006 film Superman Returns? Well, we never did get to see that, but it didn't matter, because he already Empire Strikes Back'd the shit out of X-Men with X2! X-Men United is a textbook example of using what was great about the previous film to make a more inspired follow-up. Drawing inspiration from the 1982 graphic novel, God Loves, Man Kills, Singer expands on the previous film's themes of tolerance and understanding by raising the stakes in the story with the addition of a greater adversary. The enthusiasm Singer has for this film is evident in the exciting editing, stronger production design, and a greatly-improved musical score (by frequent collaborator, John Ottman).

The first X-Men brought together a- for the most part- remarkable group of actors who excelled at bringing these classic characters to life. Just like The Empire Strikes Back, X2's returning players got another chance to play, enhancing their already memorable performances while strengthening the unit. This movie even has it's own Lando Calrissian in the form of Alan Cummings's Nightcrawler. Not only a visually eye-popping character, but Cummings's turn as the fan-favorite mutant is nothing short of astonishing.

X2 does fall just a bit short of Empire perfection. Thank you, Halle Berry. As if your sub-par effort in the first movie wasn't bad enough, you completely gave up on Storm in this one. Probably because you were too busy kissing your Oscar for Monster's Ball between takes to really give a shit. Storm is a ground-breaking character in comics- and pop culture- and she deserves better.

Watching X2: X-Men United now is just as thrilling as it was when I first experienced it in theaters. Time- and a lazy movie star- has done absolutely nothing to diminish the what is not only Marvel's first great sequel, but also one of their finest big-screen achievements.

- JDO

X2: X-Men United
4 1/2 out of 5 Cap Shields

Thursday, March 6, 2014

March Marvel Madness: DAREDEVIL

Released by 20th Century Fox in 2003, Daredevil stars Ben Affleck as Matthew Murdock, who, as a kid, was blinded by radioactive materials. Even though he lost his sight, his other senses were enhanced to superhuman levels. After his boxer dad was murdered by gangsters, young Matt dedicates his life to fighting for justice, growing up to be a defense attorney in New York City's Hell's Kitchen by day. By night, though, he's a crimefighter known as Daredevil, The Man Without Fear. Matt, a devout Catholic, is unsure of his dual role, and occasionally expresses his conflict during weekly confession. He finds hope in a woman named Elektra (Jennifer Garner), but her and her father are targets of the Kingpin of crime (the late Michael Clarke Duncan) and his crazed assassin-for-hire, Bullseye (Colin Farrell). Soon, both Matt and his alter-ego are caught in the crossfire.

Now, if I had any good sense, I would fall in line with the rest of fandom and proclaim that "Daredevil sucks" or "Ben Affleck ruined Daredevil" or "Fuck Affleck" with no elaboration, just blind compliance. However, I am a man not know for having good sense. So, I say Daredevil is not that bad.

I'll admit, I was not impressed with the film upon its initial release, either. The CGI effects were cartoony, the wire work was obvious, the costumes looked like they were made for a 90s comic book movie. I didn't care what was going on in the film. Everybody was doing things only for the sake of looking cool while doing them. Jennifer Garner was completely miscast as Elektra. I didn't think Affleck was a problem, though. In fact, I thought he was alright. Still, unlike contemporaries such as X-Men, Fox didn't cast the best actors for the roles; they recruited stars. It was the 90s Batman way of casting a superhero picture. To me, Daredevil was living in a time-warp, so it got the Obershaw DUD stamp.

Five years went by. I had known about a "director's cut" of Daredevil on DVD for awhile. I read that it was the original version before Fox demanded it be cut down to get a PG-13 rating, and from what I heard it was a harder,darker, much better movie. I finally took a chance on it, and I was sucker-punched by the difference! Wouldn't you know, there's an actual movie here! OMG, characters! Plot! The superhero stuff were parts of the attraction, not the attraction itself. This version felt more in tune with Frank Miller's famous run in the comics. Unlike the theatrical cut, it was a film I could invest in. I mean, there were aspects of the 2003 version I disliked still present (i.e. Jennifer Garner as Elektra), but I was too busy enjoying the things I did like to care. As far as I was concerned, the Director's Cut of Daredevil was Daredevil.

Since then, the theatrical version didn't exist for me. However, I knew when I started this project that I was going to have to go back to the 2003 cut. We're looking at theatrically-released films, so it makes sense to look at these films as they were first exhibited. Looking at it now, the theatrical cut of Daredevil is still nowhere near Spider-Man quality, but it's not a complete loss. While the editing feels awkward and some of the sequences are brought down by goofy effects, and Jennifer Garner is still in it, Ben Affleck is the heart of the movie, and Matt Murdock's arc is what made it worthwhile this time around. I greatly prefer the Director's Cut, but Daredevil 2003 can still exist for me, too. I'll throw that one on if I'm short on time or attention span.

- JDO

Daredevil (Theatrical Cut)
2 1/2 out of 5 Cap shields

Daredevil (Director's Cut)
3 1/2 out of 5 Cap shields

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

March Marvel Madness: SPIDER-MAN

Tobey Maguire stars as Peter Parker, a nerdy high school student raised by his aunt and uncle, who is bitten by a radioactive spider during a class field trip and acquires the proportionate speed, strength, and agility of the arachnid. With his newfound powers, the shy, gifted Peter becomes a costumed attraction until a selfish gesture leads to personal tragedy. That's when Parker decides to use his powers to fight crime and become your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Also in Peter's life are the girl of his dreams, Mary Jane (played by Kirsten Dunst), his best friend, Harry (James Franco), and Harry's father, Norman Osbourne (Willem Defoe), a wealthy scientist who's self-experimentation transforms him into Spidey's arch enemy, The Green Goblin.

I had been waiting for a Spider-Man film ever since I was a kid. Spidey and The Hulk were the first two Marvel superheroes that made big impacts on me, and through my kid years I always thought a movie about either one of those characters would be mind-blowing. So, when Batman came out and Hollywood went comic book crazy, I figured Ol' Webhead was a shoe-in for the big screen big time. To use kid logic: It would be like Superman, only it's Spider-Man! It's only a matter of time, thought I. So I waited. And waited. And waited. Then, there was that Spider-Man animated series on Fox, which was awesome, but I still waited. And I waited some more. Fast forward through one false start by James Cameron followed by nearly 10 years of litigation, it's May of 2002, I'm finishing university, and a Spider-Man movie- courtesy of Columbia Pictures- is finally coming out. Expectations high? D'uh.

As it turned out, Spider-Man was- wait for it- amazing! It was everything I hoped a Spider-Man motion picture would be. The origin felt like it was ripped from Amazing Fantasy #15. It was colorful, full of energy and optimism, the latter sorely needed in the wake of September 11th, 2001. Tobey Maguire perfectly captured the duality of the nerdy, awkward good guy that is Peter Parker and the heroic, wise-cracking Spidey.

I was confident Spider-Man was going to rule. Bringing the wall-crawler to life was one of my favorite directors: Sam Raimi. Ever since Crimewave, I was drawn to his style; it was wild. It had a zany sensibility that seemed a perfect fit for a comic book movie. Darkman was all the proof I needed, but the fact he was a Spider-Man fan since childhood didn't hurt, either. The one and only gripe I had about Spider-Man at the time, though: it didn't feel like a Sam Raimi film to me. All those wacky shots that were trademarks of Rami movies were noticeably absent. It looked very pro. Very Hollywood. To me, it looked as if Raimi was toning himself down for the studios and for the sake of the kids coming to see the picture. That was the thing that bugged me the most about the film. What? What about Green Goblin's costume? That was awful, right? Nope, didn't bother me. Really. Sorry? Not really.

It had been a long time since I watched this Spider-Man. Years even. I wondered if it still had that same hold on me as it did almost a dozen years ago. Much to my shock, Sam Raimi's Spider-Man has aged beautifully. Its good-hearted charm hasn't diminished into camp or corny. It's timeless, actually. It's easy to see now how the brightness and fun of Spider-Man contrasts against the darker, more serious Blade and X-Men films. In addition, it has a more satisfying balance of character and action, making it- wait for it- superior to X-Men. Oh, and that complaint I had in 2002 about Spider-Man not looking like a Sam Raimi movie? Turns out I wasn't paying enough attention. Raimi didn't tone down for the studio or for the kiddies. He fashioned his style to create a live comic book.

That's what Spider-Man the movie is: a living, breathing version of the comic book. It's what every superhero film since Superman the Movie should strive to be. It doesn't simply try to duplicate the medium (mostly for laughs) or feel there's a need to transcend it. That is why, after 12 years, Spider-Man still succeeds at being- wait for it- spectacular entertainment.

Spider-Man
5 out of 5 Cap Shields